7 Ways to Communicate With the Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing

Dear Pop,

My twelve-year-old son is near deaf. He feels isolated from his peers and family. What can I do to make people understand his unique communication needs?

Worried Mom

Dear Worried Mom,

Helen Keller, the deaf and blind American author and political activist, once wrote, “Blindness separates us from things, but deafness separates us from people.” I can testify personally to the meaning of her words. Deafened by a virus 21 years ago, having a conversation with anyone in English has been a chore, and when placed in a crowded noisy room, impossible. The separation and isolation from the ones I love has been palpable.

So what can people do to improve the odds that their deaf and hard-of-hearing friends and family members have an effective conversation so they are engaged in a respectful manner?

Here are 7 ways family and friends can communicate effectively with the deaf and or hard-of-hearing:

1. First, secure the attention of the deafened individual. This can be done by a wave of the hand or touching the person’s hand or arm.
2. Look directly into the person’s eyes and maintain eye contact while you speak slowly and distinctly. Never yell! It’s extremely embarrassing and won’t help. During mid-conversation, never look away or else the deafened person will lose what you had to say.
3. Make sure you talk to the person with the light in front of you and not at your back. This will facilitate easier lip reading.
4. If the person doesn’t understand you, don’t repeat what you previously said. Re-phrase what you said.
5. Make sure you have the conversation without food or gum in your mouth, and keep your hands away from your face.
6. If the person has some hearing ability and uses hearing aids, turn off all background noise like radios, TVs, etc. If you change topics during the conversation, let the deafened person know before you start talking about the new subject.
7. If you are conversant in ASL, inform the person of your skill level. Not all deaf or hard-of-hearing people know sign language.

The joy of life is communication with people, especially the individuals we call family and friends. If that special someone is close to you, please make an effort for both of you to learn American Sign Language.

It may take you some extra time and energy to talk to your deafened relative or buddy, but the effort on your part will be greatly appreciated. And who knows, you may even learn something new and interesting.

Best wishes,

Pop

Note: You can learn about Deaf culture by reading the author’s award winning novel, Goodbye Tchaikovsky.