Jews and Valentine’s Day
Throughout my life, I’ve celebrated Valentine’s Day. As a child, I bought cards and chocolates for my favorite Valentine, my mom. As a teen, Mom was forgotten, and my Valentine’s affections went to the current girl in my life. Once married, my wife became my VD target as well as my two lovely daughters. Even today, after my children have grown with husbands to take over Valentine’s Day responsibilities, I still surprise my girls with chocolates.
As an elementary/middle school teacher for 30 years, I had student volunteers decorate a mailbox for Valentines Day cards to be distributed on the blessed day. The children gave each other cards and candy to show their affection. I made sure everyone got a card and treat by giving each child a valentine from their teacher.
Where did this day originate, and why is there a question if Jews should celebrate? Back in the 3rd century a romantic priest named Valentine went against the Roman Emperor Claudius II’s order not to marry young soldiers to their betrothed. Valentine ignored the order, was imprisoned, and executed February 14. While in jail he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter. He wrote a farewell letter to his sweetheart signing it, “From your Valentine.”
As you may have noted, Valentine was an ordained member of the Christian clergy becoming a saint two hundred years after his execution. Jews don’t celebrate the lives and deeds of Christian saints. So, what’s the Jewish response to this holiday of romance? Orthodox rabbis give a unified, “LO!” (Hebrew for no.) They say the holiday is associated with a saint and pagan rituals. Conservative and Reform rabbis have a more open mind. Could it hurt to celebrate the love of your life with chocolates, flowers, and a movie? Celebrating love on February 14, or any other day is what Judaism is all about. No problem.
Orthodox rabbis will remind us that Jews have a Day of Love, too. Tu B’Av is celebrated on the 15th day of Av on the Jewish calendar. (This year it’s celebrated August 18-19.) Tu B’Av is mentioned in the Talmud as a celebration at the beginning of the grape harvest. The custom evolved where all unmarried girls of Jerusalem would dress in white and dance in the vineyards waiting for the best male suitors. In Israel today, Tu B’Av is celebrated with flowers, cards, romantic dinners, and festivals of singing and dancing. Also, Av 15 is a good day for a wedding.
Depending on your convictions and those of your sweetheart, celebrating Valentine’s Day is a good way to keep the spark of love shining for Jews and non-Jews alike. And as a Jew, celebrating Tu B’Av is a win-win combo showing your romantic chops.
