Why Practice Acts of Kindness?

On Facebook you’ll find suggestions for Random Acts of Kindness. They advise complimenting someone with a smile, gifting your favorite book from childhood to the public library, or collecting coins in a jar, and when filled, buy a gift card and give it to someone in need. You can find more suggestions on “Make Kindness the Norm”. Also, on Facebook is WeUsOurs, a kindness page that says, “It’s time to get back to WeUsOurs…from I or Me so we can all be more connected as friends, lovers, partners, family, neighbors, and community.The message is clear and simple: Think of others first rather than self. But why? What’s in it for me?

In our culture kind people are often viewed as suckers. To these cynics, success can only be achieved by stepping on others and climbing the ladder to the top rung no matter who you hurt to get there. However, once reaching the top, is that person really happy?

Psychologists have been studying acts of kindness and its effects on us for years. In one study participants practicing acts of kindness “showed the greatest reduction in depression and the greatest increases in life satisfaction”.

There’s more. In their Harvard Business Review article, “Does Work Make You Happy? Evidence from the World Happiness Report,” Jan-Emmanuel De Neve and George Ward looked at happiness in 136 countries discovering altruistic people were the happiest. 

According to another study, kindness also boosts energy, develops a feeling of calmness, and lowers depression. And there’s more. According to Dr. David R Hamilton, author of eight books and a self-esteem guru, practicing kindness produces oxytocin, a hormone that lowers blood pressure. Also, when you practice kindness, the body’s natural painkiller—endorphins—are released lowering pain. 

Here’s an example: Yesterday, on the way home from visiting my sister-in-law, nature called. I found a rest area off the freeway, but woman entered the all-gender restroom first, so I danced outside waiting anxiously for her exit. Meanwhile, another woman rushed over with a face filled with anguish. She clearly needed to use the facilities more than I. When the first woman exited, I said, “You go ahead of me. I can wait.” The look of gratitude on her face was uplifting, and my need to use the bathroom surprisingly diminished. When the woman exited a few minutes later, she thanked me again with a glowing smile. 

Dr. Christine Carter, a Sociologist and Senior Fellow at Greater Good Science Center says, “People who volunteer tend to experience fewer aches and pains.” She also says, “People 55 and older who volunteer for two or more organizations have an impressive 44% lower likelihood of dying early.” Kindness to others has a stronger effect on our health than exercising four times a week or going to church.

There are so many ways to practice kindness daily. Smile at a stranger. Your smile releases endorphins that reduce pain and elevate mood. Offer your seat on a train or bus to an elderly person standing. Compliment a coworker for a job well done. Hold a door for people behind you exiting a building. When you see an expired parking meter, drop in a few coins. The kindest gestures are often the ones you do when nobody is watching. 

Practice acts of kindness in an effort to connect to our community and create a new mind set. Instead of the “I” or “me” kind of thinking so prevalent in our society, focus on WeUsOurs. When you do, there is something in there for you—reduced depression, a happier existence, and fewer aches and pains. Isn’t it worth a try?

Michael Thal is the author of the inspirational novel about deafness, Goodbye Tchaikovsky.